Frosh Week 2014: To Trinity and Beyond

Shit got real when we knelt down for the illustrious bishop. Cigar in hand, gracing us mere mortals with his divine presence, he taught us something all Trinity frosh should know. Gliding over the green grass of the backfield, he recites the creation of the universe:

“In the beginning, God created the heavens, the earth, and Trinity College.”

Though I didn’t know it at the time, that moment would define all of Frosh Week.

Much of Frosh Week revolved around celebrating Trinity’s unique traditions and uncontested awesomeness. Who would go to another college if they could go to Trin? So in honour of the Trinity College Literary Institute and what I learnt during Frosh Week, here are eight reasons why Trinity is obviously the best:

1. We have personality.

I ran into a friend from University College during the end of Frosh Week and asked him if UC had any traditions similar to the ones practiced at Trinity, like high table dinners or matriculation. He responded with a bleak “no.”

I then asked if upper years pulled any practical jokes on the frosh, to which he gave me a strange look and also responded with “no.” I couldn’t help but think, do other colleges have no personality?

Imagining Frosh Week without those perfect #trinstagrams from the Provost dinner is a sad thought, because then we’d just have the same photos as everyone else. And we’re not like everyone else. Which other college randomly chooses one of their frosh to paint pictures of their provost? And which other college provides you with dance classes to prepare for their old-fashioned social events? And lastly, which college has the most truthful, honest, and sincere upper years?

2. Kappa Alpha Society > All other frats.

On the first night of Frosh Week, after attending Cosmic Lounge, a couple of upper years pointed us in the direction of some frat parties happening that night. Because I can’t remember the names of the two frats we went to, I asked my fellow froshling Alicia Maini if she remembered their names. With a nauseated nod she replied, “Dirty and Disgusting.” The floors were an inch thick with grime, the house reeked of beer and sweat, and the moisture in the air was so thick that my hair started to frizz. After turning down three offers of flip cup because of the alarmingly low level of sanitation and confirming with concerned drunken Frat boys that, yes, I was having a good time, and, definitely, I will make myself at home, I left.

Kappa Alpha’s Luau was a different story. Admittedly, I wasn’t too keen on attending the Luau because of my experience at Frat houses the nights preceding, so I went in with low expectations. And as I came to realize what would be the norm in all areas of life, Trin students did what they do best: impress. Especially considering the heavy rain, the condition of the house was commendable, and I didn’t feel like I would get salmonella poisoning from having a few beers. Mad props KA.

3. Liquor licence. Wet frosh. Need I say more?

4. We’re the only college that had a float and speakers at the parade. But actually, why does no other college have a float and speakers?

5. We Own That.

On the streets of the heart of Toronto during the Frosh Week Parade, Trinity College frosh could be heard collectively chanting “We Own That” and pointing at impressive buildings. At first I thought this was just another comedic example of how Trin students express their superiority, but then I realized it was true. Not quite in the literal sense of the institution of Trinity College actually owning these buildings, but in the way that former Trinity students have gone on to master or revolutionize the fields that those buildings belonged to.

We chanted “we own that” and pointed to Robarts Library. Although Trinity doesn’t own Robarts, we have produced numerous strong individuals in the fields of literature, research, and journalism.

We chanted “we own that” and pointed to Holt Renfrew. Although the creator of Holt Renfrew didn’t graduate from Trinity College (because he didn’t even attend college), our list of distinguished Alumni includes Ben Barry, who is an extraordinarily positive revolutionary figure in the field of woman's fashion.

6. We live in a castle and we have the best Quad. I don’t remember if the motion during the LIT Quad debate on whether we have the best Quad passed, but we have the best Quad.

7. There’s always something going on when you’re surrounded by a bunch keen, mildly-intoxicated Trin students. And even when there’s nothing going on, there’s something happening at Massey.

8. Quality over Quantity

Once the wave of awkward small talk was over and everyone started becoming more comfortable with each other, the quality of each person admitted to Trinity became evident. At lunch after the Quad debate, I had a full conversation about the economic state of the former Yugoslavia, with each person around me engaged and interested. In the Welch common room before Toga, a conversation about the Congress of Vienna channelled into the patterns world leaders tend to have with dividing up parts of the world. At the NRAC mixer, I was conversing with the people around me about to what extent international bodies can really be effective.

The impressive intellect of Trinity follows us into the evening; so far, from 10 PM onwards, I’ve made a bet about the correct use of empathy and sympathy, whether the last colonizers in Rwanda were the Belgians or the Brits, and the divorce rate in Canada. This kind of conversation is proof enough for me that, even if our Daddy’s did get us in, they must’ve done something right in raising such engaging and well-read individuals. I know I speak for all of 1T8 when I say that we’re damn excited to be starting our journey at the best college around.